Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
