Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
