oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
