i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
