friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
