Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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