Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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