Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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