So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
