You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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