I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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