You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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