ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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