I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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