and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
