I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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