just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize