do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
