hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
