guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
