dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
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