He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize