you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
