drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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