yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
