Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I need a beard to bite.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Dear god my vagina.
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