Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize