So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
