Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
high people should be assigned attendants
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
