I bet he comes in French.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
We got so high we made milksteak
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
