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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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