Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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