Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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