so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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