i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
