i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My vagina is officially offended.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I still have a little drunk in my system
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
