porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
