i just had sex bonerless
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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