The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
