We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
