It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
