I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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