i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
