I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
