I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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