So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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