If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize