who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
