i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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