At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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