"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
