on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
