grandma shit on top of the toilet
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize