I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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