her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
pop tarts are not kleenex
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
