what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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