oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
