'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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