People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
