you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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