I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
its not stalking. its research.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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