made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Can vaginas get frostbite?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
