ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize