Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
