Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
nutella sex= disaster
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
