So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
