I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I need moral support for this bender
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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