I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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