I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
