So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
