My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
