Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
