She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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