i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize