Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
