hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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