Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
