You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
