She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
