that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Randomize
